A Hairy Situation With My Kid

May 3, 2011 by Sara

YAY! Dr. B at MommyShorts is going to help me!

 

Here’s the dilemma I’m currently dealing with, it has to do with hair…

Anna has been independent straight out of my womb. She decided to come a week early, sleep on her own schedule (which meant not much) and recently, in addition to dressing herself, now insists on doing her own hair before school.

Most moms would rejoice at this level of independence from a five year old, anything to help get you out the door on time right?

But while I am proud and grateful, I am also extremely worried that Child Protective Services might knock on my door one day soon.

See, her independent “hairstyle” borders on looking “unkempt” and almost neglected, which I can assure you, she’s not.

It’s not her fault, really it’s not.

She has uncooperative hair.

See?

It’s fine, a bit limp and doesn’t stay put unless I braid it, tightly.  There’s a pesky wave on the back of her head and her part can’t decide on which side to flop.

But she’s trying, desperately and while it’s incredibly cute and realistically a huge help to me that she wants to get herself ready, I cringe a little bit right before she steps out the door.

But I don’t want to hover like a

helicopter parent

Helicopter parent is a colloquial, early 21st-century term for a parent who pays extremely close attention to his or her child’s or children’s experiences and problems, particularly at educational institutions. The term was originally coined by Foster W. Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay in their 1990 book Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility,[1] although Dr. Haim Ginott mentions a teen who complains, “Mother hovers over me like a helicopter…” on page 18 of the bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager published in 1969. Helicopter parents are so named because, like helicopters, they hover closely overhead, rarely out of reach, whether their children need them or not. In Scandinavia, this phenomenon is known as curling parenthood and describes parents who attempt to sweep all obstacles out of the paths of their children. It is also called “overparenting”. Parents try to resolve their child’s problems, and try to stop them coming to harm by keeping them out of dangerous situations.[2][3]

I try not to correct or ‘fix’ her mishaped ‘ponytail’ because I want to be supportive and encouraging. I let my son go out with mismatched socks because he tells me he likes them that way. I’m encouraging their individuality right? Or am I just letting them, specifically her, be a target and subsequently embarrassed?

So what’s a mom to do? I’m posing this question to you and hopefully to Dr. B, Mommyshorts‘s sister and child development psychologist. She’s helped others with their questions on nakedness curiosity protocols and how to deal with fear and monsters for example.  I’m hoping she can help me before I add any more future topics to my daughter’s list of ‘future items to discuss with therapist about Mom.’

Dr. B has answered my question!

Click HERE to go see what wisdom she has for me!

And while you are there go enter the caption contest! Guess who’s judging? ME! For every caption left, a donation of $2 will be made to the American Heart Association.* You have until Thursday night to enter! So show me your funny!!  

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4 Comments

  1. Wait…your five-year old brushes her own hair? I can barely get mine to put on her clothing.
    MommyLisa recently posted..Heard around the campfireMy ComLuv Profile

    • Sara

      I know right? I should not be complaining I guess. And by the way, even though mine does put on her own clothing, it’s not always season appropriate. We have tank tops in winter and cordoroy pants in summer. Fashion is fashion I guess!

  2. How’s the hairstyling going? Did you get the dolls yet?

    And that is hilarious about helicopter parenting being called “curling” in Scandinavia. Makes sense!
    Ilana recently posted..Friday Recap- Mothers Day EditionMy ComLuv Profile

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